Out of the Hat!

The Giants pulled a game today out of the hat. By no means did they deserve that win, after the frst two innings, but they got it anyway, thanks to that winning-streak magic they had going. Fortunately, Mando pitched a drama-less ninth. 8 in a row! Let's keep it going!

WE SWEPT THE DODGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good News on Mando

I heard that some scouts were looking on as Benitez pitched a few days ago. They seemed impressed. I guess they have heard of the phrase "don't judge a pitcher by his weight". Most Giants fans have learned the irony of this phrase. SO DO JUDGE A PITCHER BY HIS WEIGHT. Hopefully a team can pick up Benitez, and learn this lesson the hard way.

A Plea to Benitez

Please, please, let us feel just a little bit of security with three-run lead going into the 9th. I'm not even asking for 1- or 2-run leads, just 3. Is this too much for me to ask?

Mando

Today, using my handy Spanish-English dictionary, I found out that in Spanish, mando means "command". In the spirit of mando, I command Fatmando to either pitch miracoulously well the whole season, or stink it up the whole season in Florida after stinking it up so badly in Scottsdale that he got traded.

A passage for Benitez

Facing hitters on Wednesday for the first time since last Sept. 2, Our friend, Armando Benitez said that he is "80-85 percent" healthy, which left him feeling optimistic about pitching half-decent this season.

Last week, Benitez said that he tried to return too quickly from right hamstring surgery in 2005, after months of thinking. He never was at full strength last season, cause he's too old, fat and ugly. He blew eight of 25 save chances before his knee died.

This time, Benitez said that he felt no pain, tightness or soreness,(unfortunately), although huge ice packs were wrapped around his flaming knee.

"I want to hurry," said Benitez, who ranks seventh among fattest pitchers with 280 saves. "I wanna be ready. ... Right now, so far so good, of course thanks to my luck I'll never help the team" he said with a frown.

Benitez threw live batting practice to Rich Aurilia, Barry Bonds, Dave Roberts and Randy Winn. The hitters rarely swung, because the pitches hit every player at least once.

But Benitez provided the day's highlight because he threw a strike. "This proves I'm getting better," said Benitez, ecstatically. "I've never thrown a strike while with the Giants."

Note to Readers: This passage is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to a chubby pitcher is purely coincidence.

Valentine's Day!

Actually I hate this holiday, but I have heard worse news. Fatmando Blownitez, or simply "El Gordo", is coming back and will probably dash our hopes of making the playoffs. If Bochy benches Fatmando or Blownitez is miraculously traded to the suckers better known as the Florida Marlins, than we shall win the division. If not, then...well...we'll see.