Mando

Today, using my handy Spanish-English dictionary, I found out that in Spanish, mando means "command". In the spirit of mando, I command Fatmando to either pitch miracoulously well the whole season, or stink it up the whole season in Florida after stinking it up so badly in Scottsdale that he got traded.

A passage for Benitez

Facing hitters on Wednesday for the first time since last Sept. 2, Our friend, Armando Benitez said that he is "80-85 percent" healthy, which left him feeling optimistic about pitching half-decent this season.

Last week, Benitez said that he tried to return too quickly from right hamstring surgery in 2005, after months of thinking. He never was at full strength last season, cause he's too old, fat and ugly. He blew eight of 25 save chances before his knee died.

This time, Benitez said that he felt no pain, tightness or soreness,(unfortunately), although huge ice packs were wrapped around his flaming knee.

"I want to hurry," said Benitez, who ranks seventh among fattest pitchers with 280 saves. "I wanna be ready. ... Right now, so far so good, of course thanks to my luck I'll never help the team" he said with a frown.

Benitez threw live batting practice to Rich Aurilia, Barry Bonds, Dave Roberts and Randy Winn. The hitters rarely swung, because the pitches hit every player at least once.

But Benitez provided the day's highlight because he threw a strike. "This proves I'm getting better," said Benitez, ecstatically. "I've never thrown a strike while with the Giants."

Note to Readers: This passage is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to a chubby pitcher is purely coincidence.

Non-Expert Projections

ALDS: Minnesota over Anaheim, Detroit over New York
NLDS: San Francisco over Cincinnati, New York over Houston
ALCS: Minnesota over Detroit
NLCS: New York over San Francisco
WS: Minnesota over New York

1962

Why couldn't McCovey have hit the ball just two feet higher?

--Charlie Brown

That Other Post By El Person

How long do you spend making these posts?

"Chasing the Demon Sphere"

Normally, I don't do dissections of articles—there are other sites who do that a lot better than I do, but this Patrick Hruby article on ESPN.com about the gyroball was so utterly stupid I just had to rip it apart.

First of all, the article is actually a series of "e-mail dispatches" from Hruby to the "Assignment Editor, E-ticket". That format is obviously fake. So fake, in fact, that it makes the rest of the article inherently funny^[1]. Next, the very premise of the article is flawed: the subtitle reads "Is the gyroball real? Will the pitch revolutionize baseball? Patrick Hruby searches for the sport's Loch Ness monster". The gyroball is nothing like the Loch Ness monster^[2]. Everyone knows that the gyroball is real. We saw it with our own eyes at the WBC.

The article itself gets off to a bad start, after all that hilarity. The fist two sentences are "You sound skeptical. Don't be." Why would the mythical "Assignment Editor" be skeptical about a pitch that everyone on Earth^[3] already knew about?

In the next "dispatch", Hruby says, "Right now, the gyroball is akin to Keyser Soze. A mystery. One report claims the pitch breaks twice. Another says it bends like a screwball. Most big leaguers haven't even heard of the thing. So if we find the truth? We'll have captured the Loch Ness Monster, beating everyone else to the sports story of the year. The decade, even." I guess most big leaguers are stupid. Very stupid. The rest of the article goes on in the same stupid way, with people denying the existence of the gyroball left and right. It is so stupid, this post is starting to bore me, so I will cut it short right here.

^[1]If the people at ESPN wanted this to be funny, kudos to them. They did a great job on it. However, judging from the way the article takes itself seriously, I don't think that's quite what they had in mind.
^[2]For a analogy, gyroball:Loch Ness Monster::the fact that Iraq had no WMDs:Sidd Finch.
^[3]Okay, not everyone on Earth. I'll amend that to anyone on Earth who follows baseball and has the vocal capacity to say the word "gyroball".

Adam Cowart

Cowart was the best 35th round pick the Giants could have possibly made in last year's draft. The stats don't lie: 10-1, 1.08 ERA, 0.71 WHIP. His complete dominance was probably the reason the Volcanoes won the Northwest League title last year. The closest comparison I can think of is a Juan Marichal in a league full of Damian Mosses. I wonder why he didn't get the call up to San Jose and he's not the non-roster invitee to spring training, when he's done far more than Tim Lincecum. I hope it's not a fluke—the big promotion he's sure to get this year may tell us if it is. If not, he could be really, really good. As Casey Stengel may have once said about Billy Martin (I don't remember whether it was him), "I don't care if he did it in Timbuktu, he's a real ballplayer."

Bonds Update

He hit a huge homer off Matt Cain in BP today. Not that that means anything, but today's a pretty slow news day.

Zito's New Delivery

I completely pilfered this idea from Grant at McCovey Chronicles, so thank him, not me.

Next Big Things

Matt Cain is 3½ months younger than Tim Lincecum. Meanwhile, Tim played great in A+ ball last year, while Cain played great in the bigs last year. College really does make a difference, but not always a good one.

Our Favorite 3rd Baseman

It just makes you wonder why the heck he's back at 3rd for the Giants this year.

Zito's New Delivery

He used it in college. Now, though I can't pull up his college stats right now, but I think that whatever he did must have worked, since the A's drafted him #9 overall. Also, early on, he was a strikeout pitcher. Over the years, he has evolved into a finesse pitcher. That has become a bad thing, since it has made him one-dimensional and he only has one good pitch, the curve. Now, if this new motion can help him regain some of that long lost juice. However, the thing that has stuck to me most was a comment Ted Robinson made on KNBR yesterday. He said something to the general effect of that the journalists had nothing to write about, so they took a tiny little change and blew it up into something huge, because everyone wants to hear about a $128 signing more than Russ Ortiz battling for the 5th starter's spot, which will probably have a much greater impact of the Gigantes. Well said, Ted. Well said.

It's Official: Bonds Is A Giant

The Giants and Barry Bonds finally agreed to terms on a 1 year, $15.8 million contract. Suprisingly enough, (at least to me) Bud Selig agreed to it. I think this is the first time Eddie Gaedel has ever meant something beyond his publicity stunt. After that game, Commissioner Ford C. Frick ruled that all contracts had to be approved by the commisioner. That never mattered until now. I half thought that Selig would adamantly refuse to approve any Bonds contract. Now, here's a haiku for you about Selig:

I don't like Selig
Because he abuses "best
interests of the game"

Tsuyoshi Shinjo

Remember Tsuyoshi? The Japanese guy who played center field for the Giants and would always (to me, at least) throw the ball sidearm? About 10 months ago, he retired. I thought he retired after the 2003 season, you say? Well actually, he went to Japan to play for the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters. (What's a "Ham Fighter"?) Now, he's a model. How many American baseball players have retired to take up modeling? None that I know of.

Of course, we can't talk Shinjo without the belt-buckle incident. After watching this video, you may not ever look at Tsuyoshi (which I usually spell wrong) the same way again.

Valentine's Day!

Actually I hate this holiday, but I have heard worse news. Fatmando Blownitez, or simply "El Gordo", is coming back and will probably dash our hopes of making the playoffs. If Bochy benches Fatmando or Blownitez is miraculously traded to the suckers better known as the Florida Marlins, than we shall win the division. If not, then...well...we'll see.

What the Giants Infield Should Look Like in 10 Years, Part 4

SS: Shortstop is the trickiest position of all. Even though my gut tells me it should be Eugenio Velez, just because of his great season for Augusta last year (.315/.369/.557). However, it has been pointed out, and rightfully so, that at 24, he is old for Class A. Another concern is the fact that he has played 4 seasons in the minor leagues, but had never played more than 67 games in a season until last year. These concerns will all probably be answered next year, though. Seeing as that he is on San Francisco's 40-man roster, he is likely in for a big promotion for 2007, which he desperately needs. If he has a good season in AA for Connecticut or another huge season in A+ for San Jose, he will be on the fast track to the big leagues. If he has anything less, though, his age will hold him back and he will become just another Eliezer Alfonzo drifting around the minors.

A safer bet is Tim Hutting. Splitting time between A+ San Jose and AAA Fresno, he put up a mostly average line (.266/.338/.353). Howver, he is the same age as Velez and playing at a higher level then Velez. The Baseball Cube tells us that he is a great fielder and has power, even though he only hit 5 home runs last year.

So, who will it be: Velez, Hutting, or someone else? The coming years will tell.

New Feature

Yesterday, I added a ticker. Comment on whether you like it.

Updated Pitching Chart

This is my new, better pitching chart, based on the one I did yesterday. Why is it better? It's better because this time I used data from players who pitched their last game in 2003, enlarging the sample size from 8 to 69. I think that's better, don't you? The findings were somewhat inconclusive, but surprising: I never knew there were so many players who hung around the minors but never got a real shot at the big leagues (the cluster at the bottom of the chart). Did you?

Pitching Chart

This chart shows the correlation between Minor League and Major League innings pitched for non-active pitchers who played their last game during the 2004 season or later. Draw your own conclusions.

NL West Projections

1. Giants
2. Padres
3. Diamondbacks
4. Dodgers
5. Rockies

Starting Rotation Projections

Barry Zito: 15-13, 4.15 ERA
Matt Cain: 14-8, 3.89 ERA
Noah Lowry: 12-12, 4.38 ERA
Matt Morris: 10-11, 4.52 ERA
Russ Ortiz: 3-8, 5.62 ERA
Jonathan Sanchez: 3-3, 4.41 ERA

What the Giants Infield Should Look Like in 10 Years, Part 3

3B: Do you know who Villalona is? If not, you need to get your Gigantory system checked. However, I'll run it down foir you.

1. He is the biggest sign out of Latin America for the Giants since Orlando Cepeda. I would say that Cepeda turned out fairly well for the Giants, wouldn't you?
2. He turned down more money (more than $2.1 million?) to sign with the Giants. That's devotion.
3. In front of scouts, he hit a 400-foot shot at the age of 13. How many 13-year-olds have scouts looking at them?
4. He's 16. He's great already, and he won't hit his prime for 10 more years. Behold the wonder.

It's Almost Time to Crawl Out of Your Hole!

Just a few days left until pitchers and Molinas report to camp. Can you wait? I sure can't!

Comments, Anyone?

My counter tells me I get 5-10 hits a day, but I've only gotten 8 comments so far. That means 1 in 15 visitors leave a comment. Blogging can get kind of depressing unless you see your audience. Telll me what you think about the Giants! Tell me what you think about this site! Just leave a comment! Please?

Why I Dislike PECOTA

1. PECOTA is not very good at predicting what pitchers will do.
2. PECOTA has the Giants finishing in 2nd place this year. Can't have that, can we?

Super Bowl Predictions

I think that the Colts will steamroll the Bears. After grabbing a 10-0 lead by the end of the 1st quarter, and taking a 13-7 lead into the locker room at halftime, they'll never look back. This game will be remembered as Peyton Manning's defining game, and he'll be voted MVP.

Scoring Summary:

1st Quarter:
TD Colts; Colts lead 7-0
FG Colts; Colts lead 10-0
2nd Quarter:
FG Colts; Colts lead 13-0
TD Bears; Colts lead 13-7
3rd Quarter:
TD Colts; Colts lead 20-7
FG Bears; Colts lead 20-10
TD Colts; Colts lead 27-10
4th Quarter:
FG Colts; Colts lead 30-10
FG Colts; Colts lead 33-10
FG Bears; Colts lead 33-13
TD Bears; Colts lead 33-20

Apprehensiveness

Will the Giants ever win the World Series? Will Felipe Alou ever get the HoF status he deserves? Will I ever kick my Giants addiction, get out of this leather armchair, and start doing something with my life? I'm apprehensive.

The thing I'm really apprehensive about is the first one. The Giants are the only team that was the product of expansion that has not won a WS in their current city: that's 1 out of 16. Only the Indians and Cubs have gone longer, and they both have cute little curses: Rocky Colavito and Billy Goat, respectively. The Giants are the quintessential 2nd place team: they'll make you into such optimists that you feel compelled to tear your heart out when they just come up short (2002). They are so 2nd place they don't even have a curse—they always bring it upon themselves somehow. What can I do about that, though?

The Bonds Contract

Bonds has not filled out all the forms yet, and MLB rejected the contract. They really hate Bonds.